By accessing The Speakeasy at Bardic Perspiration, you agree to be bound by these Terms of Service. That probably sounds a little bit intimidating, but we promise that we're super chill as long as you're a real person who is just here to vibe. If you're here for other reasons (corpos, AI, data miners) then you should read these terms as well because truth be told, we do not like you.

We provide a website and a Mastodon Instance and you, a sophont or other independently intelligent entity, use them within the bounds of our Terms of Service, Privacy Policy, and Copyright Terms. For others, including but not limited to officials on government business, corporations, language learning models, data harvesters, and other similar fuckery, you agree to the additional terms outlined in the Fuck Around and Find Out section of these Terms. Every time you access this site or our Mastodon Instance (hereafter, Services), you are reaffirming your agreement to these Terms.

But, sophonts and friends… don't be scared! Really all we're asking from you is that you refrain from acting like an asshole.

One more thing! By using our services, you agree to also be bound by our Privacy and Copyright policies.

We have to say that you're bound by the laws of whatever country our website and our instance is hosted in, so basically that. But here's the thing… given the state of the world, we've chosen not to honor laws that encourage privacy and human rights violations. So by accessing this site you are confirming that you're in a place where privacy regressive and human rights abusing laws have no jurisdiction. Using our services is an affirmation of that fact.

Other than that, don't incite violence, don't use our services for terrorism, and basically don't be dumb and don't use our site or instance to detail your crimes that you're definitely not committing.

Choice of Jurisdiction

If you sue us for something (assuming you can find us to serve us) you agree that we get to pick the venue. Alternately, where legal, you agree that we may institute a trial by combat. Vul is quite good with a knife. Not that we're threatening you or anything...

There is no age requirement to use this website.

Given the distributed nature of the Fediverse, we have no means of age verifying those who browse the public feed of the Instance, nor would we institute one if we could. Fuck agewalls.

To join the Speakeasy, you must be at least 18 years old. By accepting an invitation to create an account, you agree that you satisfy the age requirement.

If you do not fall within the “sophonts and other intelligent entities” group, you are additionally bound by the following terms:

1. You agree not to use the content of this site without paying for it. Pricing for entities who are bound by the Fuck Around and Find Out provisions can review our pricing in our Copyright Policy.


2. You agree that we may, at our discretion, introduce AI poisoning tools that render AI scrapers useless. You agree to pay for content you have scraped whether it has been poisoned or not.


3. You agree that scraping this site or otherwise attempting to use its content without paying makes you a festering syphilis boil and you must refer to yourself as such in any legal proceedings.


4. If you attempt to weasel out of these terms, you agree that Vulpine gets to kick you in the privates with her gothy girl boots once a week (where permitted by law.)